I'm absolutely miserable...I've been waking up every morning anxious, and sick. I just want to disappear and never ever have to...exist again. There is no point to my life. I just hide all day. Any joy is short-lived. I wish I'd get sick and just die. I wouldn't be sad at all. I'd be relieved. What a selfish feeling, I know. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I miss my dad. I wish he was still here. I probably wouldn't feel so alone. So desperate to have a little bit of what other people have...a little bit of that kind of happiness. Instead it's just kinda me, myself and I. My mom is too busy to really even speak to me most of the time, and while I have a brother and sister they're much older and moved at for quite some time so I don't really have a relationship with either of them. My friends are usually pretty busy...and they have their own priorities...I understand. I feel abandoned by one of my best friends. I'm trying so hard not to...it's a story...that I can't relate here unfortunately. I wish I was important in someone's life. Like really important. Most important, actually. But I guess that's not for me right now. It's just...it's been so long that I've had to just fend for myself and I'm really not that strong. I don't want to just fend for myself anymore. Oh well....I was dealt crappy cards, but they could be worse. I wish I was a stronger person to deal with my lot in life. I apologize if anyone ends up reading this crap. I just needed to make my thoughts a bit more tangible.
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Miserable
Miserable
Devious Comments
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Yeah that's right a ninja..AND a pirate
We all care about you a lot, and personally if anything happened to you it would destroy me for a very very long time. I'll do anything and everything in my power to make sure that never happens. Just hang in there the best you can for now, and things will get better.
In the mean time, If you ever need to talk I'm here and even if it's just to be distracted let me know, I'll do my best to come up with something to do that. I don't know if you even remember this but it just kinda popped into my head, the mermaid who didn't like shells story, I think that was one of my best. lol Sad but probably true.
We'll try and keep you busy with stuff and not give you a chance to think too much about stuff. I know things have been kinda up and down with us lately but I'll always be here if you need me for anything.
I know this doesn't really help but I couldn't just not say anything.
If there is a situation that I don't get back to you right away know that I will as soon as I possibly can, you are a priority in my life weather you realize it or not.
Things will get better though and you do have friends like mike and tati and others up there who care about you and can be there for you. So just keep enduring! I know you have the strength to do so! You've always been important to me Elise and I hate being so limited in what I'm able to do for you because you know more than anyone I want for you to be happy and feel secure about things. Just keep your chin up Eli and endure through these things. <3 oki?
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"For every man there is a cause which he would gladly die for.
Defend the right to have a place for which he can belong to.
And every man who fights with his bare hands in desperation.
And shed his blood to stem the flood an impelled invasion"
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Step 1: Light me on fire.
Step 2: Walk clean away.
I won't burn long. And evidence of your done wrong will be gone, in seconds, I swear.
-Gregory And The Hawk, "In Fact"
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Step 1: Light me on fire.
Step 2: Walk clean away.
I won't burn long. And evidence of your done wrong will be gone, in seconds, I swear.
-Gregory And The Hawk, "In Fact"
Things don't feel like they ever get better..they will for a little while.....then something undoubtedly happens to make me feel like $#!% again.
All I think about when I drive is how I wish I had the guts to ram it into the divider.
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Step 1: Light me on fire.
Step 2: Walk clean away.
I won't burn long. And evidence of your done wrong will be gone, in seconds, I swear.
-Gregory And The Hawk, "In Fact"
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"For every man there is a cause which he would gladly die for.
Defend the right to have a place for which he can belong to.
And every man who fights with his bare hands in desperation.
And shed his blood to stem the flood an impelled invasion"
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Love is blood. Love is life. Without love, I wither and die.
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